


The Legendary Showmen

by UM1



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Actor Keith (Voltron), Adam and Shiro give the best advice, Allurance breakup, Angst with a Happy Ending, Badass Merla from Devils Due comics, Blade of Marmora Keith (Voltron), Drummer Keith (Voltron), F/M, Fluff, Guitarist Lance (Voltron), I said I wasn't gonna do it but here we are, Keith and Lance get into a drama club, Lifeguard Lance (Voltron), Lotor is alive, M/M, Main is Klance but Lotura happens on the side, Paladins are famous, Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-War, Shiro is getting the rest he needs, The actual characters roast the show, like a shit ton of angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-21 08:55:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21296834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UM1/pseuds/UM1
Summary: "As the tide was rising, the waves were crashing louder against the rocks, and Lance had to raise his voice, even though he just wanted his words to get lost in the sea."Some years after the war, the Paladins reunite at Romelle's café. Lance seems as disquiet as the sea in front of them, so he ends up trying a rehearsal in Keith's drama club to relieve the stress. A path of frustration, surprises, passion and lack of it awaits them.On the other side of the stars, Allura is troubled with the longing of the past, her fragile relationship with Lance and the appearance of the one she didn't want to see ever again... Lotor.
Relationships: Adam/Shiro (Voltron), Allura/Lance (Voltron), Allura/Lotor (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Kudos: 7





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy this fanfiction that is taking me so long to write, it feels like I'm writing a whole book. Nevertheless, I put a lot of effort into it.  
It's an honour to fly with you all!  
Don't forget to leave kudos and share it if it's good!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be surprised by the writing style of this chapter! It's only an epic excerpt of Coran's newest book to give us a bit of context. I changed some things from canon Voltron to make this fanfiction possible, but by no means I want to invalidate the original!  
Enjoy!

Legends tell, after the First Intergalactic War which stroke planet Earth, the Paladins of Voltron, chosen by the forces of so valued Lions of Voltron, have faced fantastic events in order to liberate the remaining inhabitants of the immense Universe. The reader might believe them or not. This is a rather legendary history, none other than the truth

A peculiar creature left by the evil side has led the Paladins to find their biggest and final antagonist: an enraged and desperate mother looking for her lost son. With her name being Honerva, she couldn’t hold the uncontrollable maternal force within her core telling her to seek revenge. And, as a true strong woman, reasoned by her generous feelings towards her prince, was egotistical enough to put all of existence in danger of extinction.

Making use of her son’s previous secret empire, known as The Colony, where outraging acts were practised to exploit energy from the supposedly perished Altean race, as well as of many other lively planets and the old Paladins of Voltron, Honerva gathered spectacular amounts of quintessence, a kind of energy humans, from their minuscule planet, will never be able to fully comprehend.

To properly understand the following events, one must know about Oriande. It is an ethereal mystical realm located inside the white hole of the Patrulian Zone, main colours being lilac, pink and glowing turquoise. After a meticulous work of orientation with the right instruments, only those possessing the Mark of the Chosen should be capable of entering this sacred place, home to the best knowledge of Altean alchemy. This place was guarded by a majestic White Lion, which would attack those deemed chosen as a final trial to reach the road of quintessence methods. The ones who would fully surrender themselves to the attack could proceed to receive the knowledge without the danger of it falling on the wrong hands.

However, ever since Honerva was able to venture in it for the first time, the unbearable radiation exuded by the white hole ceased to be a problem for the unchosen. And so, she proceeded to commit the strongest of sins: kill the White Lion who once rejected Lotor, her son, in order to retrieve him back from the quintessence field where he was trapped. Due to pure hurry and worry, she was blind enough by the bright light of the Lion to not visualize the terrible consequences of her acts. Simple Altean and Olkarian concepts may ascertain clearly: every little thing is made from the same energy which fuels the thread of realities, interconnecting all that exists: living beings, species, races, knowledge, beliefs, willpower, memories. All are dependent of each other, all producing energy which keeps the Universe stable. If one source happens to be weaker, the balance has to be recalibrated until normalization. Therefore, if the main point of equilibrium of a race’s knowledge, science, history and civilization perishes, consequently bringing the respective race to an end, the whole diversity of the Universe will get shaken by the irreversible loss.

Don’t ever mess with the heart of a mother. One must not forget she was not an ordinary one. Never is a mother just ordinary if we think about such. Corrupted with power and carrying a surreal obsession with her kid, her messiah, her god.

The Paladins could do nothing facing this merciless spectacle. One of the members, Allura, as an Altean, was losing her energy at a worrying rate. The one woman, daughter of the fallen King Alfor, possessor of great quintessence power, a Chosen One and connoisseur of Oriande’s secrets, was completely static, yet screaming uncontrollably, having hallucinations and visions, until a small black entity sent from Honerva penetrated in her. The only thing the other four Paladins recall is being covered by spiralling darkness. Truth was, all the realities started interfering with each other, overlapping and bending, creating a scary scenario of the Universe being torn apart and quickly losing its illusion of time.

Through almost unbelievable reports of this deadly experience, it was incredibly hard to arrive to a proper explanation of the events. Thanks to proper analysis of ancient alchemy and various theories on the fabric of the cosmos, it’s possible to elucidate our minds over a calamity of this nature.

In reality, it exactly has to do with realities. One is only sure of the information they assimilate through their senses. One is not sure of what the other thinks or believes, is not sure if the world the other sees has the same colours and textures, is not sure with how much intensity the same thing affects the other. Over the course of our unsure life experience, we learn every being is different and that such must be welcomed in order to keep the Universe interesting, diverse and stimulating. Therefore, we can conclude that every single being has its own reality, or, at the least, its own interpretation of it. Those individual interpretations, every single one producing and transmitting energy, are threads which structure the fabric of the harmonious cosmos.

The Altean quintessence prevenient from the Lions of Voltron had brought the Paladins into Honerva’s thread of reality, her mind. As they arrived to the surface of the obscure space, four of the five Paladins were sucked under. The Black Paladin, Keith, used all of his strength to not let his companions sink in, though it was no use. The dilemma of why he was the one left out was convulsing in between his useless worry for his comrades. Meanwhile, the other Paladins found themselves trapped in another layer of the psyche. Before they could wonder where they fell in, unrecognizable shadows began to fight them. It started to become clear they were the Paladins of Old, or better, their souls trapped deep inside by Honerva as to not interfere with her thirsty plans she had executed in the past. It was a horrifying image, that of the great and honest antecedent Paladins, being appropriated by her mind to represent the corruption of her heart.

As Keith engulfed in his frustration, the only thing that could distract him was a tall, unstable dark image, outlined by the same dark entities which led us to that ominous place. The young man started to recognize the features the flickering black lines were drawing. Could it be that the furious mother tried to trap her own son’s soul within her to guide him in the way of lust, the one which could lead to her wistful arms? Truth is, Keith felt pressure grow rougher as he walked closer to the dark figure. Not only his Galran traits were being excited and affected, his sensitivity to Altean energy was becoming unbearable, as his mind was starting to feel closer to the sour truth.

However, in a rapid turn of events, the layer that was keeping Keith separated from the others was ruptured, and they were now back together. Every Paladin with its respective predecessor, except for the Black Paladin, who would be Zarkon, Lotor’s father and Honerva’s husband, Keith’s predecessor. The souls of the trapped Paladins were released from Honerva’s mind corruption and were there, authentic, genuine fighters, ready to elucidate the new Paladins about what secrets were kept sealed in the past. Princess Allura couldn’t contain the tears after seeing her dad she once had to completely let go of for the sake of the Universe, illustrious King Alfor. As they shared knowledge, the fickering image of what was progressively clearer to be Lotor, was still there and they all saw it.

Keith was focused on all the information they were receiving, but his Galran form was becoming extremely evident, getting to the point of unbearable burning of energy all over him, especially over his chest. As he felt an urgent need to scream, the missing Paladin finally showed his presence: Zarkon. But the innocent, pure and forgotten version of him. How terrifyingly cruel it was of his wife to keep a sane version of him in her own head, available for any of her melancholy and possible regret. For memories and motivation for her own relentless methods of achieving candid and fair dreams. But no one kept the clean version of Honerva saved in a treasure chest, locked with the key of sensivity. For keeping legends alive, we can thank this epic character of History for.

Unexpectedly, Princess Allura, Paladin of the Blue Lion, symbol of chastity and hope after disgrace, violently put her hands on Zarkon’s head, making him conscious of all the atrocities he caused after his quintessence corruption. Taken by absolute anger, frustration, desperation, sense of unfairness, guilt and longing, all the feelings a mere advisor like me cannot fully comprehend, she couldn’t stand seeing the one man who killed all of her family and memories of home just standing there, happy in total ignorance.

The emergence of a Zarkon aware of his sins caused a complete disturbance in Honerva’s mind. Her treasure chest was opened and mercilessly stained into a thousand shades of the same tone of blinding black. With this, all her memories spiralled out of control, which let the Paladins be surprised with her earliest memories. Every single individual witnessed the thrill of two young parents yearning to see their son for the first time, choosing the name “Lotor”, honouring both of their cultures of origin. A husband who tried to save his wife using quintessence. The two perfect partners who got absorbed in an overwhelming amount of power which irreversibly corrupted them into the monsters they ended up being known as. And one single beautiful baby, born from a father and a mother infested by evil, who later turned into a genius mind contaminated by his parents’ tendencies, doing the greater good in the wrong way. Now, whose fault is this? We might never get to an answer.

With overuse of power and sentimental overexertion, it was impossible for Honerva to keep beings or souls inside her mental reality any longer. All the black entities connecting her to her slaves got dispersed, and the Paladins were back to an unrecognizable Oriande. Beautiful crystals with no radiance at all, ancient buildings falling into ruins, gravity losing purpose and a Sincline ship, the last one Lotor fought in. Honerva managed to recover it from the quintessence field and used her last energies to take her son out of the degraded ship. The lavender skin of the fellow had grave burns all over, and he didn’t seem to have any vital signs.

The mom caressed her son’s injured cheeks with all the fondness in her fading golden eyes, with his head laid on her lap. She passed her fingers through his weakened long white hair, untangling any knots, and felt a strong wholesome sensation in her heart, near her throat. What a strong impulse was growing in her guts, to simply do the most perfect braid with his beautiful hair. Just a little pampering she was never able to offer before. She selected three strings of hair, then, carefully tried to cross them, however, her fingers weren’t moving. She had no more energy to give or use. Dead crystal dust was falling on them. She or Allura could’ve tried to make use of their Altean powers to heal Lotor, but the fall of the White Lion had caused terrible energetic imbalance. Anyhow, her quintessence energy, after harvesting it for thousands of years, wasn’t enough for the ultimate moment of her life. Feeling dizzy, she lowered her head to meet Lotor’s forehead, but fell to her left side, in a careless foetus position, leaving her son’s head by her legs. After slipping from her lap, his face turned to the sky, the shiny dust falling on his rare eyelashes and blending with his mom’s tears, abandoned on his cheeks. Honerva’s lips were tensed. She probably tried to kiss his forehead, but just didn’t have the strength to show her love, maybe believing in the power of a miraculous healing kiss of a mother. One of her hands, which was trying to make the braid, slid with the fall and stayed on top of his left eye. She then barely pronounced: “You deserved so much better, my dear emperor”. Her red facial markings shone and progressively dimmed until they were coloured grey, out of life.

And so, the acts of pure despair a guilty mother executed in order to save her son, would be the ones which would make him perish in the end.

This image of a mom covering her son’s left eye, window of the secrets of the unconscious side of the mind, the impulsive and naked side of reality, the non-verbal mirror of hidden identity, has turned incredibly popular. Ever since the story became public, artists became inspired by the meaning of the gesture, especially in paintings of new symbolism and surrealism trends. But the emotions hiding behind the iconic image were very hard to handle. It was psychologically damaging for the Paladins to just watch such a heart wrenching event. None of them were able to hold back the tears or the irregular breathing.

However, given the realities chaos and the quintessence unevenness, the Universe was about to face inevitable collapse. In order to create balance, some sort of source of great Quintessence energy was needed to compensate the hole caused by the eradication of the mighty White Lion. Honerva’s energy had been taken away but it certainly wouldn’t be enough. The Paladins were determined to sacrifice themselves if they could possibly save existence one last time, even though no one’s life would suffice. Before they proceeded to commit any huge mistakes, the Lions of Voltron made themselves be heard and their power was rising, as Keith and Allura could feel just from their skin.

The Lions wanted to complete this last mission. The super weapons were made out of pure quintessence, holders of unimaginable power, endless potential and grand spiritual force. With connections to all five elements: water, land, fire, sky and forest; even the creator, King Alfor, didn’t know of their full potential until Voltron, a perfect junction of all the Universe’s components, was formed with the Lions. The elements would come together to create unique effects and attacks, and so, peace could’ve been kept alive with a well-rounded weapon representing all of reality.

With this, the Lions of Voltron flew right into the core of Oriande, where the White Lion would rest. For a moment, some say time stopped, as the ruins of the alchemy temples were returning to their original places and the crystals were growing at an impressive fast pace. Lotor, lying on the sacred ground, was shining as bright as the new vigorous precious stones. The crystal dust which fell on his skin earlier, made him look ethereal and transcendent, hard to believe, in fact. His skin was healing, the outlines of his jaw, nose and body were sketching a god-like figure, his hair was as white as Altean snow, and rectilinear lines were gleaming on his cheeks: The Mark of the Chosen.

Coran Hieronymus Wimbleton Smythe

in _Voltron: Legendary Defender. History and Journey, as told by the crew_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short little recap to prepare us for the next chapters. I hope you enjoyed it!  
See you on the next one!


	2. Confront

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to the present. Lance is waiting for his friends as he organizes his mind for the long conversation they'll have. But there is this one thing that's hard to even think about. Of course his incredible friends will take care of this, ending up at... a drama club?

The year is 2121. Two years have passed since the Intergalactic War and the near-apocalyptic Patrulian Tragedy. The planets still haven’t fully recovered, yet, the process was considerably fast thanks to the mutual help of all those involved in the disaster, alliances and the Blade of Marmora intervention. The pace of quick and busy lives is back to Earth; structures and facilities are easily recovered and built; after reaching dangerous levels during the war, global warming levels are decreasing thanks to other planets’ cooperation and example; and new races and ethnicities are being integrated in Earth’s society. Overall, the quality of life is reaching an unprecedented peak after the fall.

However, not everything is fairy tale-like. Billions of lives were lost. The human population decreased to almost half. Only those who were hidden or lucky were able to survive the Galran Invasion. Not only that, most important pieces of culture and history were destroyed and will never be seen again. So, the usual view a tourist could imagine of a country, is completely different now.

Only two, almost three mere years have passed. Everybody still wakes up with a heavy weight of emptiness on their chest. Still, no one wants to stay inert. Everybody tries to keep an open mind now, discrimination and convenience have been forgotten and no one has more power than the other. The main focus now is taking care of a great planet of incredible history and technology, and keeping it safe for the upcoming generations.

The future seems bright, and that’s exactly what the ex-paladins squad are going to discuss in the brand new café near the coast. The Garrison never stopped operating, except for the academic branch. It will return to activity later this year, in the beginning of the first semester, in September. It’s May, it’s time for new students to enrol and graduated students to start deciding their future. The Garrison Regulation imposes a gap of at least a year in between graduation and the beginning of work in official posts or further studies. During this interval, the students are allowed to keep making use of the facilities in order to study or to train their skills, and are very encouraged to join in-campus clubs to create and improve soft skills. However, most of them prefer to spend this time travelling and resting, or making money for the next big step of their lives.

It’s very early in the morning and the first paladin entered the café. It’s a modest wooden building, with suspended plants under the windows and the ceiling, and small succulents with local flowers on each table. It has a special wall for tourists to write their messages on the wood and the bright yellow flowers on the counters and other furniture give the place a lot more life, contrasting perfectly with the blue view of the sea. It also doesn’t have sections, even the kitchen was visible, so it brought a wholesome family vibe to it. There was only one client having his morning coffee on the high seats at that hour. The group of friends wanted to have breakfast together and hang out at the beach afterwards, since it’s been a while and they have a lot to talk about.

It was Lance who arrived earlier, since he sometimes helps out Veronica’s fiancée at his holiday village, close by (she definitely went for the rich guys, uh). He usually has breakfast at that café anyways, so, as soon as he entered, the employees already knew exactly what to prepare, but Romelle still asked:

“A latte and a latte only?”

Lance nodded affirmatively. “I’ll ask for something more later, when the other guys arrive”, he said, as he walked to the table facing the panoramic windows. It was still kind of early, so the sea still had a little of warm sparkles of the rising sun.

“You’re all coming? Hunk, Pidge, Keith, Allura…”, she asked, bringing the drink.

“Allura can’t come today”, Lance said with a lazy voice. No one told him to watch DecaTicks compilations until 3 a.m.

“Oh, yeah, sorry. She told me she was going on a diplomatic trip like two days ago. I’m such an airhead”.

She left the latte at the table and sat beside Lance, since no clients were coming. He started drinking, but he didn’t move his eyes from the painting on the right wall distracting him. It was an impressionistic painting of a lady in the garden taking care of a purple iris which grew in the middle of ordinary daisies. He could assume it was at the time of the sunset, since the sky and its reflection on the lake in front of the woman were pink. Lance, though, was more intrigued by the reflection of the iris on the lake. It wasn’t exactly purple, and it extended to a line across the lake, sometimes with strokes of red and blue instead of purple. “Maybe it’s a weird reflection of the colours of the sunset”, “or maybe the painter blended both colours directly on the canvas to make purple…”

“Hey Lance~!…oh, quiznak, you almost scared me!”, said Romelle.

Because he was so immersed in his morning mental debate over a painting that was always on that same wall, he turned his head way too fast, startled by Romelle’s tone of voice. “Sorry, I just… didn’t even notice you had that thing there this whole time”.

“Gosh, you really need to get that caffeine in your system. Anyways, as I was saying, how is it? How does dating the queen of Neoaltea feel like~? You’re considered king, right?”

“Well, she doesn’t want to make this public until something official is decided”. Lance is not ready for this type of conversation now. It was supposed to be the time in which he would prepare his speech about this for his friends.

“Like getting married?”. Romelle’s eyes were open wide, waiting impatiently for an affirmative response in order to get her fantastic plans moving.

“Well, you could say-“

“Oh my lord, Lance, it’s been two years! I’ve been shipping you guys ever since I saw you for the first time. Look, I can help you buy an engagemen-“

“Two years is not that much, really. Plus, these were chaotic years, the worst ever to have a relationship in. Because of her position, she can’t stay put in the same place the whole time, neither can I follow her everywhere she goes. We just… need some more time”, Lance promptly said, his throat starting to clench.

“Then a date would be wonderful! Look! At the beach here! What do you think?”. Romelle is just so quick thinking.

“Jesus… Romelle, just…”. Lance just wanted to drink his latte in peace and settle his ideas. “I’ll call you if I need any help, thanks”.

“Huh huh, grumpy morning boy. I’ll release you from my force field prision”, she laughed, as a costumer walked in.

Finally. Usually, Lance easily engages in conversations and doesn’t mind joining in Romelle’s mischief, but not today. Not this week. Not this month.

After finishing his drink and checking yesterday’s IG stories, he could see his three friends out the window, coming across the beach after parking the car. Those dumbasses had to sit outside before entering the café to take the sand out of their shoes. Then Hunk walks in and is immediately hugged by Romelle.

“Hunk! It’s been so long! Sorry I wasn’t able to go to your restaurant yet, it’s a little far and having so many things to do doesn’t really help, but I promise I’ll go soon! I really want to taste your pani popo again, they’re SO GOOD! And I watched that series you recommended me, how was it called again?”. Romelle barely had any time to breathe in between her excitement. She and Hunk are very close friends.

“Haha, yeah right? _Bite the ice_ is SO good! I love Corvin, he’s such a complex antagonist, I LIVE”. As Hunk showed his enthusiasm, Romelle scrunched her nose in shy disagreement. “What? No way! There’s no way you don’t like… wha??? I thought we were friends!”. Hunk was incredulous.

“Turns out you’re just fam”, Pidge said trying to squeeze herself inside through the door, with no success. “Now would you guys let simple folks like us proceed to enter this magnificent establishment?”

Pidge, Hunk and Keith sat down at Lance’s table and made their orders. They looked different, with new haircuts and, overall, looking more mature. Hunk’s hair was a tad bit shorter with sun kissed strands, making his cheeks cuter and accentuating his smile without invalidating his manly features; Pidge was visibly sunburnt, especially on her face. She had more freckles than last time and her light brown hair was fluffier; obviously, Keith didn’t let his mullet go, but, was that long hair still considered to have a mullet? The tips of the dark hair were curlier and he looked more lively, in the way his skin was so healthy, almost no dark circles or acne visible. Drop the skin care routine, Kogane. Lance was going to turn 25, Hunk was 24 years old, Pidge was 21 and Keith was… wait. How old is Keith?

“How old are you Keith?”, Lance asked.

“Uh… we just said good morning? Why do you ask so suddenly?”. Keith was just confused at the question. Plus, did Lance really forget that?

“It’s just that, since you were out there in a different time line or something, do they consider those years you lived more in your ID on Earth, or…?”

“Nah. I might’ve lived for 27 years, but on Earth only 25 have passed. But, in theory, I’m three years older. One year older than you on Earth, in October, in case you’ve forgotten”. Keith struggled to explain but managed to succeed. And make sure Lance didn’t forget he’s older, meaning he’s still up on the hierarchy of rivalry. But that’s just his unconscious talking.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Anyways, how’s Shiro?”

“33”. Keith answered without actually thinking about what the question really was about.

Pidge snorted: “Oh my god. I think he’s asking about Shiro’s life, Keith”.

Keith face palmed and left three fingers holding his head while cracking a small smile of “omfg, Keith, you’re so dumb sometimes”. Then said: “He’s now living in Japan with his family, trying to settle down and actually rest. I can’t let that bastard keep overworking and stressing his ass off. Even after the goddamn war shattered him to pieces, he would only visit his family and rest once every 5 centuries because he wanted to help the Garrison resume functions. So I talked with Pidge’s dad and we kicked him out of the country. Easy. Now he’s getting psychological help too and properly healing”.

“Our daddy shall be missed”, Pidge joked, with praying hands. “Amen”.

“He said we can visit him whenever we want. Actually, he wants us to go on Summer holiday to Okinawa. He says the beaches are all renewed and his family really want to see us”, Keith informed.

“Sure! It’s closer home, I might even visit my hometown in Samoa afterwards. When does he think it’s the best time to go?”, Hunk asked. Travelling overseas was a lot faster thanks to the introduction of new technologies and aircrafts by other planets’ engineers. Transportation in general was easier: water and air are the main fuels, the transport networks were reorganized and, as said, it’s a lot faster and safer to travel. So, it’s not strange to go to three different continents in the same day.

“Beaches in Japan? Oh, the weeb dream. To extend the merch beach towels on the warm sand after a fair bath in the exotic island waters. To lay down comfortably, preferably leaving the back exposed to the sun, and read the poetic words on Shonen Jump while sunbathing and enjoying the sountrack of nature, well known as _sounds of the waves on the beach_. New album is out! The track “Crabs doing frontflips even though they walk sideways” is a hit!”. Pidge does unbelievable comments sometimes.

“That was so unexpectedly descriptive. I don’t know how you do it. It exceeds even my own level of charisma, and I’m Lancey Lance”, he said. He was already feeling a lot better. With his closest friends, he can temporarily forget the hardships he’s going through.

“Shiro said we should wait until September or October, when it’s less crowded but still hot. It’s also more convenient, since I’m having a lot of work with the Blades these next months and I also have to be focused for my upcoming performance”, Keith said, with his eyes travelling around the room as he organized his mind.

“Oh my, you’re having another performance soon? I have to go this time! I still haven’t seen you on stage. I’m still so sorry, Keith”, Hunk said, excited about his friend following his passions.

“He looks like a completely different person while acting. His role was short, but it was still very impressive, right Lance?”, Pidge asked.

“Meh, I’ll give him that one this time. You were pretty cool”, Lance said trying to look unconvinced. But he was actually very interested in understanding how an introvert like Keith, who doesn’t seem to have a lot of knowledge in social interaction, could totally change his soul for the sake of impersonating a role.

“Oh, it was nothing. Nothing out of the basics. But thanks. I want to beat all the expectations on the next one”, Keith thanked, his ears a little red, but his mind still convinced it could’ve been a better job.

“And you sure changed a lot since the first time we met”, Lance said, trying to voice his honest thoughts for once, since his friends deserve it. “It’s true”, he added, softening the compliment using truth as a shield.

“Are you saying my past self wasn’t good enough?” Keith replied with a challenging look, like he’s playing with Lance’s vulnerability he knows is in there.

“A bitch tries to compliment another and this is the treatment they get? I’m goin’ back to mow ma hay far away from these fake ass people”, Lance answers joking with Keith’s accent.

“Holy crap, “mow ma hay” sounds like that verse in Dragostea Din Tei”, Pidge noticed.

_“__Vrei să pleci dar _mow ma mow ma hay…”. And suddenly, all of them were jamming to a song from god knows how many generations before, which turned into a huge meme last month. Because that plane wing shot was just too good to not be made fun of. The conversation was cut off.

“Alright guys, don’t forget we’re in a small café and it’s still half past 7”, Keith reminded as he finished drinking his coffee. “What will you do in this gap year?”

“You know how me and Matt want to develop sustainable new tech and possibly create a brand together? Starting next week, I’ll be studying in a design course, so we can work with efficient designs”, Pidge announced.

“Really? Will you make one of those low quality memes saying “graphic design is my passion” for me? I need original content to post”, Lance asked.

“I’m not really doing graphic design, but yeah. I accept commissions as long as I get paid”, Pidge responded, adjusting her new glasses.

“It’s just a trashy simple meme. Even I could do it. Please~”. Pouty Lance is back.

“Then do it yourself, idiot”. Pidge used logic. It’s super effective!

“So you’re not going to continue serving as a pilot?”, Keith asked.

“Nope. I think creating is my thing, and the Garrison will probably sponsor and integrate our devices. Which is already an incredible deal and we haven’t even properly start yet. But don’t be surprised if you see me doing drifts in a space ship, I’m still a pilot anyways”, Pidge answered with her eyes shining with hope and excitement.

“Same. I have new plans I think are best suited for me”, Hunk added, feeling a little nostalgic.

“Am I going to be the only one continuing on mission?”, Keith asked, understanding the emotional pressure that his mates feel over something like this.

Lance wanted to talk about this. He would expose his opinions and get advice from the ones who accompanied him in the past harsh journey, but his words just couldn’t get out. Why does he keep hiding behind this barrier of truth intoxicating his mind?

“It’s just… I think after Voltron we just want to be closer to our families. We value those things much more, you know? I understand your point too, I mean, it’s the dream we fought so hard for since high school, to be servers of our people in space… but… we ended up in a crazy mission and… I think my mission flying is complete”, Hunk tried to answer in the best way he could to properly make his feelings come across.

“Yeah, we saved the whole fucking universe”, Pidge gloriously clarified.

“So, even if it seems ridiculous, I want to pursue a cooking career in my family’s restaurants. At this time, I feel like they need me and it’s where I belong to be right now…. I hope you can understand”, Hunk said, and everyone agreed, nodding their heads. “I just love the idea of letting people in and let them enjoy good food, just like my family does. Our restaurants are doing well lately. (…) Hey Lance! You could go there and promote it to your followers!”, Hunk suggested, relieving the mood.

“If that means free food, it’s doable”, Lance said, as everyone waited for him to speak in his turn. “I’m just kidding, obviously”, he continued. Lance, the time has arrived. You have to get out of your hideout.

“I can’t really guess what you want to do, Lance… it’s hard to tell if you want to quit or follow your “fighter pilot” dream”, Hunk confessed, trying to pull out some words out of Lance’s mouth.

“Guys, I don’t… I don’t know? Yet?”, he said in the most stable voice possible, since even his throat was aching at the pressure of a “simple” question.

“Well, you’ve got time to decide. It’s not a big deal, you can rest your mind for a long time”, Keith said. This made Lance want to laugh histerically. Ah, Keith… if only you knew how suffocating this “big deal” is… hahaha, “rest your mind”? Do you want him to fall into fucking pieces then, Kogane?

“For now… I’m trying to save money working at the holiday village close by and being a lifeguard. So… whatever comes, I think I’m prepared”, he replied, well composed.

“So that’s probably a no. Even my right arm man will proceed to the next step”, Keith proudly said, not perceiving the turmoil he’s causing.

“No, wait, I mean… that’s not…”, Lance tried to explain, but he could only leave his head resting on his hands, covering his face. He was trying to organize his words better until Hunk put his hand on his shoulder. Fuck. He knows him too well. But this gesture is about to make Lance cry. Hard.

“I see. You’re confused whether being a pilot will be good for you or not. We know it’s hard to decide. Take your time”, Pidge comforted.

“Especially since you always care so much about those around you. It’s okay to tell us, if you want to. No one can see your face in this corner”, Keith said, compassionate.

The sea outside had visibly gained its vitality, with no shy morning fog visible. No filters hiding the true forms of the small, but majestic waves, which created a wonderful calming song to those making their morning run by the seaside. Cold sand being warmed up by the lazy sun, and energetic waves cooling it down once again, repeatedly. The water reflecting the pure blue from the sky, inviting for a refreshing day in its embrace.

Lance couldn’t let the waves take him over. The fog had faded away and he was there, extremely vulnerable, with a face he didn’t want his friends to see. But he does want to let the water flow, and take that suffocating current of thoughts out of its prison. So he took a deep breath and held back his tears:

“I can’t do anything now. I’m stuck. Many things aren’t letting me make a decision now. Maybe I just have to wait for better times… But, yes, it’s exactly as you said. I… I really want to fly out there, see the whole universe in front of my eyes, be free… experience all of _it_”, he said, letting the words come out of his mouth as they were showing up in his mind, like stars from the universe he longed to travel through. He looked at the sea outside and paused. “But... free? I... every time I think about going back… it feels like a trauma. And it’s drowning me… with no mercy… as if that was just a beautiful show of tides. It doesn’t stop getting worse”.

His friends were very concerned with this kind of behaviour, so they proceeded cautiously. However, knowing how attachment can slowly drag a soul out of its sanity and proper vision, Keith knew he was going to mess with Lance’s heart, but he had to ask:

“Is Allura involved in this?”

None of the three friends knew much about his relationship with Allura. It was a crush he very obviously had, turned into a girlfriend very suddenly, with no big visible signs of special affection towards each other (at least that they know about). Lance used to brag about his new girlfriends and boyfriends, but that didn’t happen this time with Allura. She is the love of his life! He normally gets extremely energetic and annoying in the first weeks of a romantic relationship, but not with her. Sure, it was a tense time of war, but what about now? This is his longest romantic story, and yet, the most tragic one. Where is Lance? The funny guy who shows up at the cameras? The one who builds courage out of his vulnerability?

“Allura isn’t really present and we don’t have much time to each other”. Honestly, it’s not only her possible fault. It’s such a deep ocean of worries entangled in his soul, that he’s only able to talk about the problems on the surface.

“But things are settling down, and, as soon as she’s free of all the post-war work, everyone will feel better and have more time. Maybe it’s just a harsh time of your life. They come and go, it’s normal, and we’re always here for you”, Hunk said.

“It’s not really like that...”, Lance abruptly responded, contradicting what he said before. He wasn’t going to say anything more anyways because his throat stopped him. A feeling of guilt and strange yearning for better times was suffocating the truth of spoken words, in this case honest, straight out of the soul words. There are way too many phrases rolling out of people’s tongues which don’t have any colour or authenticity, making each syllable lose its value.

With this, Hunk stared at Lance with a weird face and started whispering at Keith’s ear:

“We have to talk to this guy later. Like, a mano a mano conversation. Or mano a mano a mano. ‘Cause we’re three”.

“You bet”.

“Hey! You’re making plans to kidnap Lance without me? Let the mastermind join!”, Pidge said with a naughty face, changing the mood completely.

“Oh my god guys, stop that”, Lance said, laughing in relief.

☆

After exchanging some delicious stories in the café, the group walked to the beach, looking forward to a fresh swim in the clean waters. The tide was rising, yet the sea was relatively calm, perfect for enjoying some smooth waves. Pidge was quiet, feeling the water reach her toes while searching for some seashells or little crabs. After leaving their towels under the beach umbrella, Keith and Hunk went to check the water too, and, only after, Lance appeared behind their backs.

“What’s up with that red t-shirt?”, Keith asked.

Lance turned around and pointed at his back. “I’m a lifeguard at this side of the beach. I can relax a bit since not many people come to this side because of the rocks”, he said.

“Or maybe you’re just not popular with the girls”, Keith joked.

“Ah, is that so? You should see how many of them ladies gather around when I bring my guitar and start my _Latino Sunset Sessions_”, Lance instantly responded.

“Are you a musician or a lifeguard then, Mr. Loverboy?”, Keith said with challenging eyes, trying to keep Lance as fired up as he could, since he and Hunk already decided what to do.

Taking advantage of Pidge’s cute distraction, Hunk and Keith made efforts to make Lance walk along the coast with them and sit at an isolated place by the rocks, as some people were arriving at the beach. There, Lance could supervise the people, without letting them see the emotions overflowing. It wasn’t very wise of the two guys to talk about this subject while he’s working, but so many people carry so many terrible feelings inside them whilst keeping a straight happy face at work. It was only more toxic for Lance to keep this thoughts clouding his mind, so it had to be done now.

“So, Lance. It’s just me and Keith now. You can tell us whatever the hell is going on and we won’t judge, I swear. We just want to help our bro out”, Hunk said with gentle but lively eyes, Keith nodding his head in agreement with his words to make Lance open up.

“I knew you would do this… ugh…”, Lance let his head fall back with a temporary smile and let out a deep breath. “Where do I even start?”

“We have the whole day, take as long as you need”, Keith said.

“Well…I don’t really like to say this but… my relationship with Allura is just… weird. Like, she’s my biggest crush ever, she’s beautiful and possibly the strongest woman alive. She’s everything and I have that everything with me… but, somehow, I feel like there are so many things lacking all the time.” Lance was purposely using “she’s” because he still can’t distinguish between “she was” or “she is”. “It was a fucking stupid decision to start dating in times of war, but it wasn’t our choice. She suddenly reciprocated my feelings and it was the best thing that could ever have happened to me at the time, when I was watching everything get destroyed, and she didn’t even have anything to remind her of home. We were totally empty at the time, and found our happiness in each other’s support, and it was amazing. I won’t trade those moments for anything.” Then, Lance paused and spent some time organizing his next words while cleaning some little tears.

“You know… I hope you don’t get offended by this. I have nothing to do with what’s going on between you two, but… what’s confusing to us, who are outside of this, is how rushed her feelings were towards you. We now Lotor told her to move on, but still…”, Keith confessed, trying his best to make himself understandable and not hurt his friend, because, somehow, the words that we want to release from the inside are the ones that hurt more on the outside.

“I think what Keith is trying to say is that it was weird for Allura to realize her feelings so suddenly. She ended a relationship right before, you changed your attitude a little, she knew how you liked her, and it’s like she saw you specifically as an opportunity to cure her emptine-“, Hunk tried to add.

“And what’s wrong with that? She was watching her entire life fall apart, she was feeling excluded, the only one without a family! What’s the problem in looking for an emotional support? What’s the problem in seeking love to relieve the pain? I was heartbroken too because of her, I helped her out when she needed to, I hugged her when all she felt was cold. And she, on her mind, decided that I could be a good company for her. We know each other’s struggles and flaws, and all we could do was keep each other sane and minimally happy as time went by. I don’t care if I was just some crutch to help her on her way. We help each other get up after we fall, and that’s what love is about too”, Lance heatedly explained, with all the feelings emerging in his words and on the tears, shining like the sea waves.

“What about now? No one has to help anyone get up. The war is over and we’re on the best years of our lives. Now the relationship could bloom, right?”, Hunk gently asked, acknowledging that Lance is about to start closing up his heart about now, after talking so bitterly.

“We… had the best time of our lives during the celebratory period. We were relieved and full of love. We were getting a lot of attention... I honestly felt like the happiest man alive. I could see the never-ending possibilities in front of my eyes. She was happy, my family was happy, everyone was thankful for the little they had saved. I knew there was only place to grow”, he answered, showing some nostalgic smiles, but feeling the hole in his heart opening and staining his voice. Ever since the end of War, Lance got extremely sensitive to flashbacks and feels sick recalling memories.

“The question is now. If it was perfect then, what’s going on now?”, Keith insisted.

Nothing is perfect, and that’s exactly what Lance is struggling with. An ethereal looking woman, envied by everyone, is what he can call his girlfriend, his everyday friend, his infinite hope, his purest love. She has the beauty and the most generous soul. Love must be about living through the ups and downs without letting go. Feeling anger, sorrow, compassion, euphoria, happiness, black, blue, pink, red, purple, grey… it’s a colourful feeling that is rather blinding. True love can go through the hardest of hardships, whether it’s time, distance, dissatisfaction or sadness. People who truly love each other can find ways to overcome any obstacle which might come their way, as long as there’s feeling and respect. Is true love perfect or not?

“I… I don’t know. I try to understand, but… any reasons I find that could justify our… struggle… just make it obvious that I should be stronger. Allura has to keep going on trips around the galaxies, she’s the queen of another planet, and I can’t afford to travel around with her because of my goals, a career I’m too scared to follow... Mainly my family, that I’ve left for so long before, and because we have to keep things a secret for now. If anyone found out about our relationship, the media and the internet would explode, so we just have to wait until her peace tour is over… Distance is fucked up, but if I wasn’t a weak little brat, I could just adjust things and we could live a good life without having to wait for whenever the hell we’re going to settle down”. As the tide was rising, the waves were crashing louder against the rocks, and Lance had to raise his voice, even though he just wanted his words to get lost in the sea.

“Lance, from what I know of you, you are an incredible person once you really care about someone. This is a relationship between two people, and you’re doing the best you can to keep it going. So maybe it’s not all your fault. Allura is extremely busy and I’m sure that stresses her out and you too. Have you tried talking to her about this?”, Keith asked.

“I don’t want to talk about this subject directly to her. I don’t want to put any more pressure on her. All I know is that her eyes don’t look the same. Every time she comes back, it’s not a thrill anymore. I try my best to surprise her, but I feel something. Or rather, I don’t feel that something”.

True love, Lance. Was it true love? Is it true love? Why are your eyes greyer? Why is her touch not as warm? Why are the kisses so bittersweet? There are some days and nights when love hits and it consumes both of them. But it’s just that. A red tingle from the belly that runs up to the back of the head, which turns into a grey sensation when your hands are clasped together. The dark grey that forms when way too many colours are mixed in, forming a fog between the left and the right eye. And so, you have two different visions you can’t stand to just watch. Is it really just a bad wave? Will it crash and return? Is your love just sea foam on the waves of her hair?

_Do you still love her? Does she still love you?_

“I want to give her more time. But I’m on my limit. Everything is pressuring me to choose my future. And it makes me feel like shit, because I should be able to do this. I should be able to wait like a loyal man and give her the time she needs. But at the same time, my mind gets chaotic when I think of her, it makes me afraid. I just want the thrill, the connection, that crazy feeling that used to come around when she said _good morning_, that-“

“Passion”. Keith bluntly said, like he completely understood the problem. “You know the love is within you, but it isn’t attractive to feel it anymore. There’s not enough stimulus. Not enough passion”.

“Ah… yeah…”, Lance said softly, not only surprised with Keith’s words, but also with how that word fit like a glove to explain his feelings. It’s crazy how we are born illiterate and then a single word can make our cries stop. In the end, language is one of the best translators of our feelings, but nothing is more expressive than a touch, a smile, or a shine on the eyes. And Lance’s hands were holding tight to his knees, there was no smile and his eyes were mirroring terrible anguish.

“I think this is something you guys really have to talk about. Maybe Allura feels the same and you just need to take some more time for you two. I know it’s hard in between your schedules, but communication is important and you can’t ignore each other’s feelings. I just want both of you to be happy, whatever that means. Will you do that for us? For you? For Allura?” Hunk suggested, not wanting to see Lance like that anymore.

“Yes. I can’t just sit and wait for these feelings to go away. I’ll try”, Lance answered, ten times more relieved but with even more questions in his head.

_What if true love doesn’t last forever?_

“I think you really need to relieve some stress. It will only make you overthink things even more when they probably aren’t as complicated as they seem. I don’t know how you manage all the work you have with social media influencing, being a celebrity and all of that. And, still, no one comes to your damn beach”, Keith commented, being playful once again. “How do you even have free time?”

“Shut up. I have a lot of free time, I waste it… _well_”, Lance answered almost striking a pouty face.

“By _well_ you mean making livestreams reading fanfiction of yourself at 4 a.m.?”, Hunk asked. “I think you should follow the Garrison’s advice and enter a club to forget your problems a little bit”.

“And why do you think reading fanfiction doesn’t make me forget my problems?”

“Well, you mostly read fanfiction of yourself with Allura or any latino popstar. I know you want to be extra when your relationship with Allura becomes public, so you’ll be like “_Haha, turns out the ship is canon!_” Everyone already noticed, Lance”, Hunk said, raising his eyebrow.

“Well, it’s not my fault, Allurance is the most famous ship. And you gotta admit, that one with Delfin Tiburón was fucking amazing. To be honest, I would tap that ass”, Lance answered with way too many hand movements.

“Actually, the most famous ship is Klance”, Hunk dropped the mic.

“Do you really think I’m gonna read fanfics with this dipshit? Blue and red is just an overrated combo. Girls see my finger at a distance of roughly 25.84 cm from Keith’s hand and already say it’s canon”. Lance does have some Klance fanfiction saved for a future video. Leave a like and subscribe for more content!

“Thank god you don’t”, Keith breathed.

“Hey! Keith is at the drama club at the Garrison. I think it could work very well for you, Lance!”, Hunk suggested.

“Uh… sure. I guess it could help him exteriorize his feelings a little bit. But I don’t really know if that’s his thing”, Keith said, asking the gods why the heck Hunk had to make this suggestion.

“Actually, I’ve always wanted to try to release my inner actor skills. And you don’t know until you try, right?” Lance admitted.

“Well, we have rehearsals every Tuesday and Friday night. I’m going today, in case you’re interested”.

“Hum… I didn’t plan anything for today so I could try. From California to Arizona… yeah, by train is no effort!”, Lance concluded, actually attracted to a change in his fickle routine.

☆

And so, after a day of fun spent with true friends, Lance went along with Keith to the train heading to the Garrison. It wasn’t going to be a long ride, but the sky was turning black, the harmonious stars and planets were starting to peek at them through the clouds, and the cool temperature inside the train helped them let some thoughts roam through their heads.

“Lance?”, Keith called, not taking his elbow off the window sill.

“What is it?”

“Just warning you that the things you’re going to see might be a little weird for you. I just want you to… have an open mind and don’t judge, ok?”

Jesus Christ, what does Keith even mean? It’s not like they’re making exorcisms and doing weird satanic dances. Or maybe they are. That would make a sick play. “What? It’s not like you’re aliens doing some sort of-“. Wait…

“You’ll see when you get there. All I can properly explain to you is that we’re rehearsing a new play. It’s about a girl having her sexual awakening, basically realizing her power and searching for a lover like her life depends on it. So we, actors, are searching and training our… how can I say… seduction abilities?”, Keith clarified, realizing this was the most embarrassing time for Lance to join in.

“So you have to release your inner hoe?”, Lance asked, pleased with the idea.

“Basically, yeah.”

“And what’s your role?”

“We’re still in the beginning, so we’re just exploring feelings and studying the script. There are a lot of male characters, yet, they have very strong personalities, and being selected for a show is kind of hard in my club, but I’ll try my best”, Keith said, showing a bit of frustration behind his smiley eyes.

“I bet that if I show my killer moves, they’ll let me in”, Lance said with his classic Loverboy™ tone.

“Sure. You know exactly what you have to offer, chief”.

“Honestly, I can’t wait for Veronica to see you acting all sexy and shit”, Lance playfully said, knowing very well how hard his sister was hitting on Keith at some point. It was infuriating for both of the guys.

“Fuck off. It was bad enough that they put me and Allura as endgame in the TV show. I couldn’t stand your sister’s pickup lines anymore, Lance. Do I have to hang out with a gay flag tattooed on my forehead, so they understand I’m not into that bullshit?”

Lance burst out laughing at how Keith was genuinely triggered. “Dude, it’s fine. Veronica is basically married now. And I didn’t want any Kogane blood in my family anyways”, he said, like he won a biscuit or something.

“Oh…”, Keith gasped, exaggerating his expression by touching his forehead with the back of his hand, then said with a high pitched voice: “You’re a pussy, Romeo. That’s why I’m gay now”.

“That was so not your character, man. But it was funny, I’ll give you that. Where did you hear that?"

“We once filmed a Romeo and Juliet parody. It was super cringe. Thank god I didn’t get in”.

*Next stop: Garrison Campus. Please mind the gap between the train and the platform edge*

“Alright, we’re here”, Lance said.

☆

The air was getting cold as the night settled, and the neon lights were bright and more abundant, more than what Lance recalled. After the reconstruction, the Garrison campus turned into an isolated city surrounding the academy and other enterprises or institutions which required some isolation. There lived the students and workers, having all they need, creating a small self-sufficient hub, similar to what used to exist in Zhongguancun.

As they entered the futuristic main building of the campus, Block A, they followed the corridors until Block D, right behind it: the Varieties & Ludic Institute. There, the members could find a gym, a game room, convivial rooms, all the specific rooms for the various clubs, and much more. They had to go up to the third floor, so they searched for the stairs. They were by the central section of the building, which was windowed, surrounding an ancient tree which was already there before the structure was built. Through the windows, not only they could see a little garden, the tree, and glimpses of the night sky, but also, all of the corridors of every single story. Seeing the walls all lined up vertically, the orange and grey lines, characteristic of the Garrison’s design, would form the respective letter of the building, in this case, the letter D from Dionysus, the Greek god of wine, fertility, ecstasy and loss of self-consciousness.

As they entered the Dramatic Arts room, there were already some people sitting on the ground, talking or just relaxing. On a corner, they could see Mrs. Stewart rearranging the clothing rack. She was a small and seemingly young woman, with light brown hair by the shoulders, and a delicate face holding severe eyes. Just with the look she had, Lance immediately concluded she was the director of the group.

“Mrs. Stewart, this is Lance, the guy I told you was coming to watch our rehearsal”, Keith timidly said. He has a lot of respect to this woman. And maybe some fear, but only he knows.

“Nice to meet you Lance, I’m Estelle Stewart”, she said while looking at Lance from head to toes. “Just like on the photos, you have the perfect physique for our current work. Undeniably latino with fresh blue eyes”. This words were a little out of the best connotation, turning more judgmental than complimenting. “What’s your star sign?”

“Alright then. First a free full body analysis and now a strange question like this? This woman is a little freaky”, Lance thought. “Hum… Leo, I think?”, he answered.

“You’re perfect! Precisely the fierceness and boldness we need! Instead of just watching, why don’t you try to join in our practices?”

“I don’t know much about these things but I can try”, he said, not really amused with this strange invitation. He really doesn’t know what the heck he’s about to witness. People yelling at each other? Reading papers and acting? Do they practise slaps or something?

“You paladins have gone to the farthest of stars, what can’t you try?”, she said walking away from them.

Oh lord. Sometimes Lance wishes he wasn’t famous. Probably everybody in this room already knows everything about him. But there’s still a necessity to hold back your real personality, like a normal first interaction between humans would include. Crap, does Mrs. Stewart watch his stories?

As they all sat on the floor, leaving the chairs leaning against the wall, Mrs. Stewart turned on some atmospheric piano music, with some deep keys. All the members got more comfortable and laid on the ground, Lance followed. Mrs. Stewart turned off the lights and joined them.

All the light that could be seen was that of the campus lighting outside, coming through the windows and creating shadows of the trees on the walls. As they could hear profound continuous noises from the music, it would seem space was shrinking around them. The world outside was completely shut off, worries were cancelled, and their thoughts could be heard in their minds at maximum volume. The beautiful things in life were up for them to create in that dark room that suddenly got so empty, now that everyone was laying on the ground. Still, it was suffocating with creative possibilities.

Lance was finding it weird that nothing was happening. It had been around ten minutes but as he looked to the sides, he only saw Keith and the others with their eyes closed. So, he did the same, to try to figure out what they were doing. Probably some kind of meditation to warm up a little. Who knows? No one told him what to do.

Someone got up, but no one else moved. Lance resisted the temptation to open his eyes, now that he was a little immersed in his numerous thoughts.

“Forget about your week. Stress doesn’t exist in here”. It was Mrs. Stewart, walking around the room, making her voice travel across everyone’s ears. “Put your hand on your belly and breathe in. Fill it with air. As you exhale, hiss and let the air out slowly”.

Everybody did as asked. Lance was still surprised at how long this meditation was taking. Don’t they have a ton of text to memorize or practise? He was puzzled, but he didn’t want to get distracted from this experience and tried to let go. It’s a type of peaceful environment he never faced before. They were many in the same room, yet there was no noise. He wondered if there was noise in their heads instead.

“Up”, Mrs. Stewart said and everybody got up very slowly. Lance got up a little early. It was kind of embarrassing but he tried to see how Keith was doing it. He had already turned to one side and his hair was covering his face. Every muscle of his body was working in order to feel every movement and make the simple act of getting up on his feet one of the most delicate things Lance has witnessed. It was beautiful seeing all the people, that were barely recognizable in the darkness, growing upwards like blooming flowers, fruits from the surrounding black colour, as the music picked them up. The last thing Keith raised was his head, lazily, as his hairs slid out of his face. Lance could only witness this show because he did things wrong. He was strangely glad to have seen him that way.

“Now dance”. And everybody started moving their arms in natural, improvised movements, only fuelled by the music that was building up. Most of them used their legs too and their whole body to converse with their inner thoughts. Ones more expressive than the others, grabbing their own clothes and even their skin, as they moved up and down in fluid movements. Keith would mostly run his hands on his hair, make suave hand movements on his front, or sometimes bend his back a little without losing balance. He was one of those who touched his skin a lot, especially when he’d move his hands from his leg upwards. Then he’d slide his hand under his t-shirt and explore his belly. Lance was astonished and hypnotized, asking himself who the heck was that Keith. Did they make clones of him too?

Lance didn’t really know what to do in this situation. He tried to mimic what he saw in goofy movements, but it was okay, everybody was with their eyes closed. As he should be. “Am I supposed to be thinking of something specific?” “In which direction do I move my arms?” “Am I really letting myself go?” “Do I look ridiculous?”, he was asking himself.

“Don’t think, just do as your body tells you to. It reacts naturally”, Mrs. Stewart whispered to Lance, watching him struggle. “Please close your eyes as long as possible”.

“Now you have a rope on your front. Pull it like your life depends on it, like you have to lift up a rock”.

“Well, this one is not so hard”, Lance thought, allowing himself to open his eyes for a bit to see how he should do it. And so, he imagined the rope and pulled it using all his strength. He made his muscles shake as he tried to show expressions of pain on his face. But it felt like this exercise was taking too long, like he should be thinking of something, like the pain he feels and all that pulls him behind. Maybe he’s now starting to feel the right things.

“Now interact”.

“Wait, what? What is that supposed to mean? Do we have to make up a conversation?”, Lance asked himself. Once again he tried to learn from the others first. There were absolutely no words coming out of their mouths. The actors only approached each other and formed pairs, sometimes trios. He looked at the pair in front of him. They were two girls and both started the silent conversation immediately: they got very close, almost in a hug. They explored each other’s arms, back and especially the face. Either combing and pampering hair or getting it all tangled up, letting the eyes and the hands investigate each other’s facial features. Other groups were almost sitting on the floor, taking movement further. It really depends on what’s going on in each soul and the mix it makes with the pair.

There were no romantic notes in these interactions. Only living beings at their rawest state connecting and synchronizing. The touches they shared on each other’s skin were pure, as if they were understanding the feelings of torment, peace, or even warmth. It was the deepest bond of all. Blind and deaf, only with the smell of sweat from the last exercises, and linked by the power of the same soundtrack playing on loop. Chords hitting the eardrums and guiding these bodies through the soundwaves. Sometimes, eyes would open and communicate in soft notes of a piano, guiding the hands around the other’s eyebrows. Other times, the strength of a cello would push bodies together almost violently and turn them around in a macabre dance.

Lance was frozen, scared with so many touchy interactions. But since he was there, he wanted to try that ecstasy. Eventually, the pairs were being switched, so Lance found his partner, a girl to begin with. She began slowly, putting her hand on Lance’s and let it slide up to his shoulder. Lance was really lost, so he tried to do the same, afraid his touch could be too rough. He let his hand travel around her neck and face, like he would usually do to a girl he liked. And the violin playing in the background is hurting him so much as he does these gestures. The girl proceeded to get closer, getting the bodies together. She hugged Lance and rubbed her cheek against his, just like a cat. Lance could only caress her back or move her hair around, but they were scared touches. It was way too much intimacy with a girl he never saw before, and it was already awakening his vulnerabilities.

The pairs switched again on what seemed like an infinite exercise. This time, a boy approached Lance. He put his hand on his chest right away. He wasn’t going to contain himself just because a newbie is interacting with him. Theatre knows no genders, but being softly caressed by a boy was a thing Lance had forgotten. He wasn’t letting himself behind, doing the best he could do to respond to the interaction, but inside, he was absolutely terrified. He wanted to continue, but the way no one hesitates and just acts scares him. It’s opening holes in him. Lance is clingy, he usually cuddles his siblings, nephews, girlfriend, sometimes even friends. Why is this being so hard to cope with?

Vulnerability. It’s rare to hug someone with your heart totally showing out of your protective ribcage. Only moms or soulmates can make us do it sometimes, and even so, we decide to erase chunks of our soul and say “it’s nothing”, “it will be fine”. Because this is my heart, not yours. Why do you want to see it? It’s mine. Don’t touch it. I said it’s mine! You wouldn’t like to see what’s inside it. Neither would I like to watch you seeing it.

But here no one sees. No one looks at appearance, personality and backstories. You just accept your pair and give the comfort they need. These people feel and let go of this suffocation of our ribs. Breaths are heavier with the intensity of some movements, the soundtrack gets faster, and Lance moves away from his partner as if his heart was dripping blood. He’s frightened by all of this and by the strong composed figure he’s showing on the outside. He just wants this part of the rehearsal to end. Next time he’ll be better prepared. But this was too brutal and unexpected.

Keith touches Lance’s neck from behind. He makes him turn around to face him and starts playing with his big ears, drawing their lines with the tips of his fingers. The worry shows on Lance’s eyes, afraid of transmitting emotion. So Keith, very aware of this first time shock, took Lance’s hand and placed it on his ear for him to do the same. And they were there, playing with each other’s ears, analysing their topography like skilled geographers. The interaction was not so close, so Lance could breathe a little, yet, it was probably the hardest. Because he was doing it with Keith, a guy he knows pretty well, who could be judging him for his sloppiness. It’s so weird. What if Lance shows too much affection through this?

Keith decided to get closer and whisper at his ear: “You’re holding back aren’t you? Show me what you’ve got. In here, I’m not Keith and you’re not Lance. We’re mere actors”.

Blind enough. Lance realized he could just forget his ego for a bit. It’s dark and no one is watching, except for Keith, who already gave him words of reassurance.

“Suéltate”

[“Release yourself”]

Lance was able to get his body closer to Keith’s and let a hand slide up his back. But, as their foreheads touched, he stopped, unsure of what to think. Keith didn’t hesitate in letting both hands roam across Lance’s hair behind his ears, moving upwards. Then he hugged him, put their palms together and forced his arms to move around, as he pushed Lance with his chest and he pushed back. Lance let go of Keith’s hands, and moved his own underneath the partner’s arms, sliding them until both met around his belly button.

“I’m not Lance, I’m not Lance”, he thought, turning his vulnerability into power.

In response, Keith rested his head on _not Lance_’s shoulder, and, rolling his head on it, ran away from _not Lance_’s sight. Now they were back to back. Keith decided to apply pressure and push _not Lance_’s back. Just like before, _not Lance_ pushed back, but this time, the other didn’t respond. Instead, _not Lance_ felt his back arching and falling as Keith was bending his. The newbie didn’t understand his intention so he just turned around and hugged his back. Keith slowly got up and held _not Lance_’s face on his hands. _Not Lance_ was sweating and stressed out. It went better, but his heart is so overexposed right now, he is panicking.

“That was Lance. I could feel him now”, Keith whispered, patting his back.

And with that, Mrs. Stewart turned on a little yellowish light faced to one of the walls and told them to finish the interaction. It was time for text.

“Since we got carried away, I’ve got some texts for the first years to read. You too Lance”, she said while distributing papers. “I’ll just see what type of colours you can give to the words as you read them”.

The actors sat around the light and the first two to read the texts sat leaning against the wall, facing the light. Lance tried to calm down his soul and try to run away from frustration, so he faced the ceiling a little bit. He didn’t notice before, but now, some faint dots of light could be seen through the soundproof ceiling, forming what he could almost assure was the north hemisphere night sky. While the spotlight of the readers was a faint dirty yellow, these constellations were almost purple. Opposite colours which don’t seem to go well in our head, but just work out when we see then together, creating a mysterious visual with heavy softness. The dreamy substance of the purple moving hidden energies, and the gold tones highlighting them and providing vivacity.

Lance wasn’t very focused to actually hear the interpretations of the texts. He noticed some of the new actors couldn’t convey emotion very well and just read like they were in a reading class. They were also not used to look directly at the light and many would deviate their eyes sometimes. Yet, the rest of the members were focused on them, on discovering if the first years could open their drawer of the heart easily or not and be generous. Being generous is key in this club. You have to give out your soul without expecting to get anything back. That value totally lost its meaning nowadays.

It was Lance’s turn. He sat on the pillow and faced the light, hoping his eyes could handle it. It was a warm light, so it wasn’t that difficult. He picked one of the sheets in front of him and looked at the text. He was now starting to feel pressure again for being the only one vulnerable on the spotlight. Gosh, this feeling shredded him to pieces… he started reading. His text was about possibilities. What possibilities could he create? What created possibilities could he cling onto? What possible outcomes could he choose for his next step? What are the possibilities I bump into your happiness while searching for it on the beach?

Lance wasn’t able to let the feelings of the text get to him very deep yet. He tried to raise his voice sometimes, paid attention to the punctuation and used gestures to help him interpret. It was a fair reading but a heartless discourse. He just let words come out of his mouth, he didn’t say them. He couldn’t grab and manage the possibilities just yet.

After all the readings were done, they discussed what could be improved and finished the rehearsal there. Mrs. Stewart commented that Lance potentially has a lot of colours he can use, he just needs to learn how to paint them and set himself free of the control of his ego. They were very abstract ideas, so Lance couldn’t really picture his way to make them a reality. “I’m counting on you next time”, she told him before they left.

As they were going down the corridors, Lance was very quiet, not sure of what to think of what just happened. Keith thought he should let Lance absorb his thoughts, but he knew, the more he thought, the worse.

“What did you think? We’re a bunch of freaks, right?”

“You are indeed. But I find that interesting. That you can get to these levels of… I don’t know… trance?”, Lance responded.

“Oh, it’s not really like that. I can’t get to that level yet, I’m still too self-conscious”. That’s not what Lance thought at all. “But you did a lot more than I expected. On my first time I almost got out of the door to rage under all this pressure. But you have a strong personality for these things, just like Mrs. Stewart said. You just have to learn how to let yourself go. That’s the first stage of this process”, Keith said, remembering his first days of frustration.

“Yeah, I think I got that”, Lance said, very, very intrigued with the fact that he wasn’t able to just release himself from his insecurities and give it his all. “I didn’t expect anything like this. I thought you just learned the text and practiced the shows every rehearsal. But you spend a long time without even talking. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do, so I guess I got it all wrong.”

“It depends on the rehearsals. But yeah, we always spend a good amount of time investigating our soul in silence. It might feel like you’re not doing anything, but you’re improving the way you feel things a little bit every time. It’s a little crazy, I know. And I don’t think there’s a right way to do it. You just… do. Whatever you think is better”, Keith answered, knowing very well what Lance is talking about. He too still struggles with these concepts and doesn’t understand why he can’t move forward. And he’s been doing this for years. But he will cut the thought here. He doesn’t want to feel frustrated in front of someone who just tried this nightmare for the first time.

“I tried to follow what you guys were doing. Especially on the interaction part, some faces popped up on my head… but I tried to avoid that as much as possible”, Lance confessed.

“Oh, that’s fine, really. That’s great to exteriorize your feelings and connect to your inner demons. That’s exactly the exercise you have to do on situations like yours. It’s supposed to hurt, you know?”, Keith said, guessing which were the _faces_ that popped up on Lance’s mind.

“Yeah, it did hurt a little. And the music was helping too”, Lance said. He was biting his nails since they got out of the room.

“Then you already travelled a lot deeper than I thought you would. It took me a long while to get to that level”, Keith said showing a smile, but feeling himself getting more and more behind on Lance’s talent.

They were quiet for a while as Lance was thinking about his interaction with Keith, and Keith was ripping his soul apart as he felt inferior and exceeded again. He’s tired of hearing that he was not made for that job, especially from himself, and often doubts his passion. He feels like part of him was amputated and doesn’t let him show his true potential. At this point, he can’t even put the blame in himself because he doesn’t know of any more ways to get better at transmitting his feelings while acting. Not only that, all of his movements and dances are messy and have no logic. That’s why people can’t tell what he’s trying to show through them. It’s like he’s stuck in an opaque soap bubble and nothing can make it burst, even if he uses very sharp objects. The solution must be giving up, but now he brought Lance with him.

“I don’t know what you were thinking, Keith, but when you were acting with me, it was like you were telling a story. Thank you for not making me so uncomfortable, I guess. And I’m sorry if I touched you where I shouldn’t, but I wouldn’t let you just do as you pleased since you challenged me”. Lance broke the silence and caught Keith off-guard.

“What?”, was the only thing Keith could say. Meh, Lance is just a newcomer, he gets impressed easily, of course he would say things like these.

“Now, for real, I didn’t know a grizzly bear like you could look as graceful as you do when you’re not aware of your surroundings. You look like a goddamn princess. I’m even considering inviting you for a skin care session”. And here goes Lance the jokester, master of attenuating feelings.

“What the fuck? You must be blind. You’re not getting a free ride home with your chit chat”.

“What do you mean? I’m being honest here, you little shit. Has anyone ever complimented you before?”

“Not on these matters, and it’s not like they have much to compliment anyways”.

“How many people have talked about your acting before?”

“Huh… two or three? But almost all of them were criticizing me, including Mrs. Stewart”.

“Then they are fucking blind! You could make a homophobe turn gay with the way you do things so beautifully, you shithead”.

“Oh fuck, did I go too far on my own thoughts?”, Keith asked himself. They are not allowed to bring romantic matters into rehearsals, that’s one of the strict rules of the club. And it’s wrong in general to take advantage of an interaction moment to be closer to the partner. But that’s not what Keith did, he would die of guilt if he found a bit of that intention hidden in him.

“Well, too bad you don’t believe in the truth. I’ll tell everyone you’re a pretty princess then”, Lance said as he was recording a video on his phone.

“Turn off the camera Lance!”, Keith yelled, realizing he’s being once again caught in Lance’s mischievous IG stories.

“Hey putos, I just tried the drama club with Keith and turns out he’s a pretty princess while acting”, Lance said with a bitchy voice.

“REPORT THIS SLUT, he looked like a light stick on drugs”, Keith yelled.

“Princess, it’s not good etiquette to yell such things. Shall I make you copy the good manners book again?”, and the video cut before Lance could finish the question. He was laughing hysterically as he immediately posted the story before Keith could ruin it.

“This is why mom doesn’t fucking love you”.

☆

When Keith arrived at his small apartment, he took a shower, put on his pajamas, gave food to Kosmo, prepared a quick dinner and brought it to bed. His bedroom was the smallest room of his apartment, but very spacious, since the wardrobe was incorporated in the wall, just like all the drawers, shelves, and even the bedside tables. It was mostly white, since he didn’t change most of the original decoration, but he added his little personal touches, like changing the bed lights to purple, or hanging a cork board on the wall to put posters of his favourite bands and fanarts of himself, that he treasures immensely. He doesn’t like exposing himself to the public, but he sees everything the fans do, and feels his heart warm up every time. He also put gifts from his fans on the shelves, along with other memories. Keith is very attached to the past and memories, so every corner of the apartment has some photos to remind him of his biggest adventures. Out of that, the only source of colour in Keith’s bedroom were the small plants on the windowsill, gifted to him by Colleen. And, of course, we can’t forget Kosmo’s red bed, in which he doesn’t sleep anymore, preferring Keith’s large bed.

Every night, he video called Shiro to tell him how things were doing, unless he couldn’t. Video calls were a lot more realistic nowadays, working more like a hologram, turning the experience much more intimate. Shiro was really important to Keith, he is most of his impulse control, and their conversations are as therapeutic as writing a diary to reorganize ideas.

“So, Kyung, I read the message, how did it go?”, Shiro asked as he finished having lunch.

“Well… weird. I told you Lance would do this much better than I did. He was nervous, but I don’t think he was scared. He behaved well and didn’t judge anything. He was nice. He even read a little bit. It wasn’t that good, but it’s always like this on your first time”, Keith answered as his eyes were focused on his food bowl and on Kosmo, trying to steal his food.

“You said he didn’t judge, but he called you a pretty princess”, Shiro laughed.

“He’s crazy. He complimented me and everything. I understand him even less”, Keith said, grumpy, while chewing a carrot.

“Did you two act together?”, Shiro asked with a naughty look.

“Stop it. We did.”

“And how was it?”, he asked, super excited for Keith’s response.

“You know I don’t think of those things while acting”.

“SAY IT”.

“He was a little afraid to touch me, so I told him he could do whatever he wanted, since what’s in there is our actors’ version, not us. After that, he let go a bit and I helped him out, guiding his movements. I did some complicated things, like being back to back and everything, and he still tried to follow my steps. But yeah, we got very close to each other”, Keith explained without being too detailed.

“Did you touch his ears?”

“Stop making this sound kinky”.

“But did you?”, Shiro asked and Keith looked away. “BITCJDEJ YOU DID!”. Shiro was so happy that he just vocalized a keysmash. “I knew you would, you little brat”.

“What do you want? They’re big and funny!”, Keith said, embarrassed.

“And then you messed up his hair, right? You crazy fuck. I can see it on your face”. This is usually the type of conversation they have on a daily basis.

“He’s probably getting married, asshole! Stop that, I don’t wanna feel bad”, Keith said, laughing at how secretly goofy Shiro is sometimes.

“So was I, but here we are”, Shiro said waiting for Keith to get triggered.

“You idiot! Making dark humour out of your PTSD won’t help you, you know?”, Keith yelled.

“Speaking of which, I have a crazy thing to tell you. But this is a state secret, so you really can’t tell anyone, understood?”, Shiro said, changing his expression.

“You know I won’t”.

☆

[Social media updates]

@sharpshooter: Keith is secretly a fabulous princess everyone. I wish I got footage

@keith_kogane: I thought we bonded pt. 374. Betrayal at its finest

@pidgeotto: omg I can only imagine Keith in a tutu with Allura’s crown on top of the red lion while dancing on his toes

@hunkgvoltron: I mean… you can make that a reality

@pidgeotto: oh you bet I will. I’ll be back in 2 hours

@holtmybeer (Matt): make it klance

@sharpshooter: u lil fuk

@takashiro: What has our team turn into?

@keith_kogane: Space ships

@sharpshooter: @takashiro your son stole my jokes again

@keith_kogane: *read*

@hunkgvoltron: the #klance tag is blowing up again, we’re so immature

@estrellaraquel (Raquel McClain): Proceed. My brother needs new content for his livestreams.

@holtmybeer: at this point I’m only crossing out all the headcannons that already happened, I only have like 5 more

@estrellaraquel: I still stand by the bonding moment theory, hbu?

@holtmybeer: outdated, I prefer the biibohbi one

@pidgeotto: hi I’m back. you’re welcome. pic.tutukeith.png

@hunkgvoltron: I’m tattooing this

@sharpshooter: Ok but why am I wearing chanclas?

@pidgeotto: our budget couldn’t cover all expenses

☆

Glossary:

_Intergalactic War_: a war lead by the evil Galran forces, with Zarkon and Haggar/Honerva as their leaders. They attacked planets from various galaxies with imperialistic purposes while searching for the Voltron superweapon. Later, Honerva used brainwashed Alteans as fighters, striking Earth (Galran Invasion). The war ended right after with the Patrullian Tragedy, in 2118.

_Patrullian Tragedy_: the events involving the killing of the White Lion and unprecedented disturbances in the order of the Universes (2118, Patrullian Zone).

_Galran Invasion_: the strike of the Galra on Earth (beginning of 2118).

_Iris: _A species of flowers which comes in a variety of colours and with a very particular petal shape. With its iridescence, it’s a symbol of self-acceptance and self-expression. Purple irises used to be planted over women’s graves in order to summon the greek goddess Iris, to guide them in their journey to heaven. This way, it also symbolizes the connection between heaven and earth.

_Neoaltea_: a new-found uninhabited planet with similar characteristics to Altea, which turned into the new home to the Altean race. It is ruled by Queen Allura since 2117.

_Pani popo_: a tipical Samoan coconut bread roll.

_Shonen Jump: _best-selling manga magazine, published weekly in Japan.

_Zongguancun_: a technology hub located in Beijing, China. Known as “China’s Silicon Valley”.

_Building/Block A_: referring to Atlas, a titan in Greek mythology who was condemned to hold the celestial heavens for eternity.

_Kyung_: Keith’s middle name, Kyung-Uk, inherited from his half-Korean father. A transformation I did of his original Japanese name to fit the Korean Keith headcanon. It has the hanja 耿 (kyung), meaning bright and brave (it also has fire in it), the best match I found for the phonetics of “Keith” and the original name 黄金 (kogane), meaning gold. The last hanja is 旭 (uk), meaning rising sun, just as his Japanese name 旭 (akira).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoy writing!  
Next chapter will come in months (sorry?), but it'll come! Flooded with angst. Prepare your tissues, because you'll need a lot of them!


End file.
